Spin Divorce Mission: To Give Healthy Parents the Tools to Avoid Post-Separation Abuse
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Even a "Normal" Divorce is Hard: The Narcissist Takes Divorce Challenges to a Whole New Level
Divorce is one of life’s most stressful events. Dreams of a couple’s happy future together shattered and replaced with visits to matrimonial lawyers’ office and appearances before a judge. The Family Law system is complex, very expensive and time consuming.
When coupled with high conflict personalities and narcissistic tendencies, the obstacles that a person faces when divorcing such as custody battles, splitting of marital assets and calculation of support…. can feel insurmountable. These obstacles can take many years to unwind.
The spouse with narcissistic tendencies wants it this way. They love the game. And yes, to them it is a game. A game they have intention to win. This is why they routinely utilize tools that are designed to weaken you, so they can gain advantage. Many of these tactics are now recognized by the courts as "domestic violence" and although the abuser knows this, they also know that the courts often do not often use the tools they have at their disposal to combat these tactics. So the high conflict personality continues. Proceeding after proceeding in an increasingly number of families across the globe.
What is Post-Separation Abuse
Post-separation abuse is a series of events that occur when a marriage breaks down. These divorce “tactics” are universally applied by people with narcissistic tendencies to gain advantage or cause harm.
These frequently include
1. Using the courts to attempt to take full custody of children from the healthy parent and gain control of the decision making aspects of the child’s care.
2. Draining bank accounts and financially harming the healthy parent so that that the abuser can work their way through the courts unchecked.
3. Causing harm to the children, or failing to meet their needs.
4. Counter parenting (the opposite of co-operatively parenting)
5. Intimidation tactics such as threats, stalking and hacking.
6. Parent alienation accusations.
7. False Domestic Violence claims.
8. Filing false or Vexatious motions before the divorce courts to engage and control the healthy parent.
The Bad News
The courts, WHERE ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN, are not equipped to handle the high-conflict narcissistic personality and many court professionals and judges lack education related to the damage these individuals cause…. Making the courts a costly and scary platform to engage with the abuser.
The Good News
Knowing the strategies, the narcissist is likely to employ, empowers the healthy parent to make choices that assist them in avoiding the pitfalls of the FAMILY COURT legal system.
The Court’s Mandate
The court’s mandate in almost every country in the world, on paper, is to make decisions that are in the BEST INTEREST of the child, but this has been pushed aside and become secondary to the equal parenting. This has created a legal battleground where healthy parents fight to protect their children and can get punished for doing so, if they employ the wrong strategies. Heartbreakingly, even if they do employ all the RIGHT strategies, there is no guarantee that the healthy parent will be the primary custodial parent and/or the decision maker.
But with knowledge and planning and understanding how the court's view court proceedings, your chance of having a better custodial outcome increase significantly.
